Monday, June 04, 2007

Dis-couraged

I have a couple of choices in judo class. Work with a kid...or work with my husband. The kid is a great kid -- hard working, smart, but also small. Or I can work with my husband who can't moderate himself. It is full speed or nothing and full speed could kill me (for real). So I get dis-couraged. I don't know what to do at times like these. I know I have to accept the limitations of my life both in judo and otherwise. But it is hard. I don't want to accept things the way they are. I want to practice. I want to learn. I want to be able to not have to worry about someone trying to break my leg clean off my body when I am uke and we are doing uchi mata uchi komi.

These things don't seem unreasonable.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Don't give up and quit. Keep working through it at your own pace. I'm sure it's not easy being the smallest because I know it wasn't easy being the biggest for a long time for me. Thankfully now I have other folks my size to work with...I'm sure over time that'll happen for you too. If you truly enjoy it, stick with it and keep going. Things will work out for you...you just may not know how right now.

The unconventional mother said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The unconventional mother said...

Thanks for the encouragement. I am not exactly the smallest...or the weakest...but I am the shortest and the only female. It is hard to be the "only" one in any category.

I am sticking with it. I just had a "what am I doing here" moment. I guess that is normal when you are putting some much effort into something. The good thing is that I don't have to be perfect after a year. I don't have to have a brown belt and know every through. I can be proud of where I am. And despite the competition about it on the judo forum I am proud of where I am.

Thanks Mongo!

 
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