Scared

I am scared of the change. The new job begins two weeks from yesterday. I am really scared that I am not going to be able to juggle my family and my work. Judo is not nearly as satisfying as it once was. I am tired today and still sore from Saturday. The work out was good, but I really feel like I lack focus in my training. What am I training for? November is still there as a goal, but it has seemed an awful long time to wait for a first shiai. I get more irritated on the judo forum. Obviously I get information there, but of course it is not as good as having someone show me the answers to my questions. I don't think some of the more experienced people on the forum have any idea of what it is like to be a beginner in a small club working slowly on the basics. I have always thought there was way too much judgement on there. You have to wade through the judgement to learn anything from it. I am dissatisfied, but what can I do but be patient. I have limited training partners and it sucks being the shortest, the only woman etc... Today it just sucks to be me.

Hope I shrug off the bad attitude soon.